GRANDMA'S AGE:
LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA! HOW OLD SHE WAS.
GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND HOLDING."
JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, "AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?"
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Celebrating May Day
May Day (May 1st) is celebrated in many places around the world. The traditions and stories surrounding May Day vary from place to place. There is, however, one thing that is similar in most celebrations - the use of Flowers!
One of the most popularly known May Day traditions is to hang a basket full of spring flowers and/or other small gifts on a neighbor's doorknob. The trick is you don't want the neighbor to see you! If you get caught, you are supposed to get a kiss.
A popular activity on May Day is to decorate a pole with brightly colored ribbon or paper streamers. Some also add flowers and balloons. The pole is usually carried in a parade and then placed in the ground at a designated area. People then dance around the May pole, holding the ends of the streamers or ribbon in their hands.
Pet for the day
Name: KittyAge: Twelve years old
Gender: Female
Kind: Russian Blue
Home: Vancouver, Washington, USA
My name is Kitty because as I got older I still remained a small cat and the name Kitty just stuck. I think I am almost twelve years old now, but my owner doesn't remember and neither do I.
My favorite thing to do is sleep. When I am not sleeping I sometimes pretend to be asleep. I am strictly an indoor cat but one time I got out and it was awesome! I enjoy sitting on top of doors, chasing dust mites, sleeping on the heater vents, sitting on or around the computer when my owner is trying to use it, and watching the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.
While I really love my owner and she thinks I depend on her, little does she know that I can actually open doors by myself and get into the treat bag without her help. I am the most wonderful companion, she tells me, and I have really enjoyed my life so far.
What should I do?
After drafting a will for an elderly client, the lawyer announced a fee of $100.
The client gave the lawyer a $100 bill.
After the client left, the lawyer saw that the client had in fact paid $200, as two of the client's $100 bills had stuck together.
Looking at the $100 overpayment, an ethical question arose in the lawyer's mind: "Do I tell him or not?"
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
"Honesty is always best."
The client gave the lawyer a $100 bill.
After the client left, the lawyer saw that the client had in fact paid $200, as two of the client's $100 bills had stuck together.
Looking at the $100 overpayment, an ethical question arose in the lawyer's mind: "Do I tell him or not?"
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
"Honesty is always best."
Quote for the day
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.
-Abraham Lincoln-
-Abraham Lincoln-
Inquiring minds want to know....
• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
• Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• Why is it that no matter what color liquid soap (bath or dish) you use the bubbles are always white?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Yeah, come on you do it too!!
• Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
• How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
• In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
• Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• Why is it that no matter what color liquid soap (bath or dish) you use the bubbles are always white?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Yeah, come on you do it too!!
• Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
• How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
• In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Monday, April 30, 2007
70-Year-Old Female Liquor Store Clerk Catches Shoplifter
April 29, 2007
WOLFEBORO, N.H. -- A shoplifter would have to run pretty far to get away from this liquor store clerk.
Judy Brenner, 70, ran the Boston Marathon this month.
On Thursday, she was working at a state liquor store in Wolfeboro when she thought a young customer was trying to lift some liquor.
Brenner followed the teen out of the store. She said she wasn't going to let him get away with something he didn't pay for. He was walking fast -- so she picked up the pace. Finally, she sprinted about 100 feet to catch up with him.
She said she grabbed the half-gallon of whiskey he had under his jacket, while others who joined the chase grabbed the suspect and held him until police arrived.
Brenner finished the Boston Marathon in just over five hours, placing sixth among the women in her age bracket.
WOLFEBORO, N.H. -- A shoplifter would have to run pretty far to get away from this liquor store clerk.
Judy Brenner, 70, ran the Boston Marathon this month.
On Thursday, she was working at a state liquor store in Wolfeboro when she thought a young customer was trying to lift some liquor.
Brenner followed the teen out of the store. She said she wasn't going to let him get away with something he didn't pay for. He was walking fast -- so she picked up the pace. Finally, she sprinted about 100 feet to catch up with him.
She said she grabbed the half-gallon of whiskey he had under his jacket, while others who joined the chase grabbed the suspect and held him until police arrived.
Brenner finished the Boston Marathon in just over five hours, placing sixth among the women in her age bracket.
Pet for the day
Name: Murphy
Age: Two years old
Gender: Male
Kind: Ferret
Home: USA
Age: Two years old
Gender: Male
Kind: Ferret
Home: USA
Murphy is an energetic, loving, bundle of joy. He is always happy to see me, as he knows it is time to play. He loves to jump and run around. His chuckles signal to me that he is having a good time. When I went to go pick out a ferret, I saw that he was waking all the other ferrets up wanting to play. I knew that he was the right ferret for me. He loves chasing after my feet, and attempting to pull the socks right off my feet. I will lay a pile of socks and he will take one and take it to his room. He comes back until all of them are gone!
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