Things to Ponder

Why do they say new and improved?

It can’t be new if it was improved can it.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, than who said,

“Quit while you’re ahead”?

The Right Brain vs Left Brain

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS

uses logic

detail oriented

facts rule

words and language

present and past

math and science

can comprehend

knowing

acknowledges

order/pattern perception

knows object name

reality based

forms strategies

practical

safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS

uses feeling

"big picture" oriented

imagination rules

symbols and images

present and future

philosophy & religion

can "get it" (i.e. meaning)

believes

appreciates

spatial perception

knows object function

fantasy based

presents possibilities

impetuous

risk taking

Homeless Bear

New Money

The U.S. Treasury is issuing a new five dollar bill, with a much larger, easy-to-read five on it.

Thanks to the large print, the five dollar bill will retain its status as the official birthday gift from old people.

Red Tailed Hawk rescued from park bench

It was a dramatic rescue in Boston Common yesterday afternoon after a Red Tailed hawk got its leg stuck in a park bench. A crowd quickly began to gather around the bird - everyone cringing as it tried to break free without success.

Animal control quickly arrived at the scene to help free the hawk and make sure he was not injured during his struggle to escape. Boston Animal Control and a Park Ranger pried apart the slats of the park bench to slip the bird's leg out safely. The animal control officer then placed the hawk into a cage so he could make sure the bird was okay. The hawk was released in the Common moments later. The crowd that had gathered cheered as the bird flew off and perched on a nearby tree.

Maybe the Worst Father of the Year?

Medical Term Needed

The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”

“Well, in plain English, the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”

“OK,” said the man.

“Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

For Sale

Dog For Sale: (Or free to good home)

Excellent guard dog.

Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more thieves, murderers, rapists or drug addicts left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Carmen Sandiego finally found....

…. in San Diego of all places.

Hi-Ho, it's off to work I go...