Friday, October 24, 2008

Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

What Six Grade Education Gets You

Jed and Jethro live in the hills, about 5 miles outside of town.
Jed asks Jethro to go in to town to pick up some lumber.
Jethro walks the 5 miles to town to the local lumber yard.
"Jed says we're gonna need some 4 x 2's" Jethro tells the lumber man.
"Do you mean 2 x 4's?" asks the lumber man.
"Well, I don't rightly know, I better go ask Jed" says Jethro and walks the 10 miles to the hills and back to town.
"Jed says we're gonna need 2 x 4's" Jethro tells the lumber man.
"Now, how many 2 x 4's will you need?" asks the lumber man."
Well, I don't rightly know, I better go ask Jed." says Jethro, and again walks the 10 miles to the hills and back to town.
"Jed says were gonna need about 40 of 'em" Jethro tells the lumber man.
"Now, how long will you need them?" asks the lumber man.
"Well, I don't rightly know, I better go ask Jed" says Jethro and yet again walks the 10 miles to the hills and back to town.
Upon returning Jethro says to the lumber man, "Jed says you better give 'em to us for a while
. . . we're gonna build a barn."

PANDA BABIES

In the News

Absent minded store owner sells diesel for 59 cents
Diesel fuel was on heavy discount at a rural Wisconsin convenience store - just 59 cents a gallon.
That is, until the owner discovered he had left off the other $3 while changing the price in his computer.
Mohinder Singh estimates 50 to 75 customers took advantage of the mistake at his Lyons Shell Plaza last weekend, costing him more than $4,000.
He says he changed the price about noon Saturday, and it stayed at 59 cents until he arrived at 7 a.m. Sunday and saw a warning light indicating the diesel tank had only 200 gallons left.
Eighteen-year-old Jordan Koster knew something was wrong when he filled his pickup's 30-gallon tank for only $10. He told his father, and his father advised him to make things right.
The teen stopped Monday and paid the full amount.

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Sniffer dogs in teenage bedrooms
Retired sniffer dogs that have spent years on police patrol are now working in the private sector in the US - sniffing out teenagers' bedrooms.
Parents can rent a dog and handler for $200 (£125) an hour from Sniff Dogs, a firm operating in New Jersey and Ohio.
The dogs are highly trained and can detect illegal drugs.
The company says the animals can smell marijuana from up to 15 feet away (5m) and residue on clothing from drugs smoked two days earlier.
The dogs will sit when they detect the drugs but they leave the final inspection to the parents.
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'Fart gas' link to blood pressure
Hydrogen sulphide is behind the smell of rotten eggs
The gas best known for being used in many stink bombs may also control blood pressure, say US researchers.
Small amounts of hydrogen sulphide - a toxic gas generated by bacteria living in the human gut - are responsible for the foul odor of flatulence.
But it seems the gas is also produced by an enzyme in blood vessels where it relaxes them and lowers blood pressure.
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