Monday, June 25, 2007

Top 10 ways to get back at Telemarketers!

Number 10:
When they ask, "How are you today?" -- tell them!
Say something like... "I'm so glad you asked because no one there days seems to care,
and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."
You get the idea.

Number 9:
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

Number 8:
Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh, my goodness, Judy, how have you been?"
Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out
where the heck she could possibly know you from.

Number 7:
If Sprint calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan,
reply in as sinister a voice as you can,
"I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"

Number 6:
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy
and you could sure use some money.

Number 5:
Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest"
and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

Number 4:
After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your
credit card number to a complete stranger.

Number 3:
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them
if they will give you their home phone number so you can call them back.
When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their home number,
you say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?"
The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"

Number 2:
Insist that the caller is really your buddy, Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

And last but not least...
Number 1:
Tell them to talk v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y,
because you want to write every word of your conversation down.

According to “The Man”

A person needs only two tools:

If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.

If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.

Fashion critic don’t wear your Crocs in public

Wear the damn things while at home and in your garden, but please don't go shopping with them on! That's how I feel about this "most annoyingly omnipresent style of summer footwear."

George W. Bush was photographed recently in a pair of black Crocs – as he was heading out from the White House to ride his bike. He wore the clunky resin clogs -- which have ventilation holes and a heel strap --.He had the backstraps of his Crocs flipped forward so they rested on the top of the shoes -- turning them into slides.