Man has built his own alarm clock

This is what has gotten this dude to school and work on time for the last 4 years.

He mounted a large air cylinder to the head of his bed and a valve controlled by a computer which he program to wake him up in the morning.

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During a difficult time,

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I saw a billboard sign that said:

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NEED HELP, CALL JESUS 1-800-555-1212

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Out of curiosity, I did.
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.
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Funny Robin

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Bride left in the Toilet

A bride on her honeymoon has been left at the airport because her new husband thought she had spent too long in the toilet.
The Saudi couple were preparing to fly home after an idyllic honeymoon in Malaysia.
But after only a week of married life, the couple's romance came to a dramatic end after the bridegroom decided his wife simply spent too long in the bathroom at Kuala Lumpur International Airport.
His solution was simple. Get on the plane without her.
The woman in question, a teacher, had gone to use the facilities before boarding a flight back to Saudi Arabia.
How long she stayed in the toilet was unclear.
What is certain is she emerged to discover her husband had vanished without trace.
The woman, who had paid for the holiday, began a desperate search of the airport.
According to newspaper the Saudi Gazette , she grew increasingly concerned that something terrible had happened to him.
It eventually emerged that he had in fact boarded a plane.
When he arrived at his destination, he calmly told relatives his new wife was still in Malaysia.
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Ten-year-old girl rescues great-granddad

A quick-thinking 10-year-old drove a mobility scooter half a mile to rescue her stricken great-granddad after he suffered an angina attack. Kyra Young became concerned for 89-year-old Jack Atkinson after he failed to return home after taking his pet dog for a walk. Braving the pouring rain the concerned schoolgirl followed his known route until she found her great-granddad on a grass verge. She quickly got his keys to the 4mph Mayfair Freerider machine and ran back to his home for the buggy.Kyra became worried about her great-granddad when he did not return from walking his West Highland terrier, Panyo. Kyra, who had been at Jack's house in Shinwell Crescent, Thornley, followed the route on which he normally takes the dog around nearby Cooper's Court and it was not long before she found him doubled up on a grass verge
Wasting no time, she ran back to his home and got his electric mobility scooter, which does not require a driving licence to use, and drove it that half a mile to where her great-granddad waited. Jack, who had a heart attack in 1999, said: "I am proud of her. I had an angina attack and she said 'give me your keys and I will go and get your buggy'. "I got a pain in the right side of my chest. I could not go any further."Kyra's mom, Karen Allen, 47, of Ellerby Mews, Thornley, said: "I'm proud of her because I dread to think what would have happened to be truthful. "If he had been left he certainly could not have made his way home. He could not get home because of the hills." Jack, who had his spray inhaler with him, managed to drive the scooter home with Kyra, and her step sister Hannah Young, nine, running alongside.
There's a news video here.
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