Joke for the day

GRANDMA'S AGE:
LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA! HOW OLD SHE WAS.
GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND HOLDING."
JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, "AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?"

Celebrating May Day

Surprise your neighbor with a special May Day basket and make many other crafts.
May Day (May 1st) is celebrated in many places around the world. The traditions and stories surrounding May Day vary from place to place. There is, however, one thing that is similar in most celebrations - the use of Flowers!
One of the most popularly known May Day traditions is to hang a basket full of spring flowers and/or other small gifts on a neighbor's doorknob. The trick is you don't want the neighbor to see you! If you get caught, you are supposed to get a kiss.

A popular activity on May Day is to decorate a pole with brightly colored ribbon or paper streamers. Some also add flowers and balloons. The pole is usually carried in a parade and then placed in the ground at a designated area. People then dance around the May pole, holding the ends of the streamers or ribbon in their hands.

Pet for the day

Name: Kitty
Age: Twelve years old

Gender: Female
Kind: Russian Blue

Home: Vancouver, Washington, USA


My name is Kitty because as I got older I still remained a small cat and the name Kitty just stuck. I think I am almost twelve years old now, but my owner doesn't remember and neither do I.

My favorite thing to do is sleep. When I am not sleeping I sometimes pretend to be asleep. I am strictly an indoor cat but one time I got out and it was awesome! I enjoy sitting on top of doors, chasing dust mites, sleeping on the heater vents, sitting on or around the computer when my owner is trying to use it, and watching the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.

While I really love my owner and she thinks I depend on her, little does she know that I can actually open doors by myself and get into the treat bag without her help. I am the most wonderful companion, she tells me, and I have really enjoyed my life so far.

What should I do?

After drafting a will for an elderly client, the lawyer announced a fee of $100.

The client gave the lawyer a $100 bill.

After the client left, the lawyer saw that the client had in fact paid $200, as two of the client's $100 bills had stuck together.

Looking at the $100 overpayment, an ethical question arose in the lawyer's mind: "Do I tell him or not?"


"When in doubt, tell the truth."
"Honesty is always best."

Quote for the day

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.
-Abraham Lincoln-

Inquiring minds want to know....

• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

• Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

• Why is it that no matter what color liquid soap (bath or dish) you use the bubbles are always white?

• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Yeah, come on you do it too!!

• Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

• How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

• In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Pictures of the day