Friday, March 20, 2009

15-year-old Student Suspended for FARTING

An eighth-grader at the Bill Duncan Excel Center in South Lakeland, Jonathan Locke, 15, has been suspended from riding the school bus for three days after being accused of passing gas.
"Jonathan passes gas on the bus to make the other children laugh and it stunk so bad that you can't breathe after he does it," the bus driver wrote on a misbehavior form.
Locke said he wasn't the culprit.
"It wasn't even me," Locke said. "It was a kid who sits in front of me."
Jerome Corbett, senior director of specialized services for the Polk County School District, said there is no specific rule that prohibits students from passing gas on the bus.
"There's a rule against disturbing the bus," Corbett said.
If the flatulence becomes excessive, then Corbett said the bus driver has the responsibility to report it to the school administrator.

Foreign Language Ban

A Nottingham postmaster has said he will refuse to serve people in his post office if they cannot speak English.
Deva Kumarasiri, who moved to England from Sri Lanka 18 years ago, runs the Sneinton Boulevard Post Office.
Mr Kumarasiri said he could not serve people if he did not understand what they were asking for.
In a statement, Post Office Counters Ltd said its "branches were open to all customers" and "steps would be taken" to ensure this at the Sneinton store.
Mr Kumarasiri said he had turned away about six customers after he said they wasted his time and infuriated other customers because they could not understand English.
"If somebody stands up and says 'sorry, I can't serve you if you can't speak English', then they'll think twice," he said.
"I am part of a service but how can I serve them if I don't understand what they are asking for?" The 40-year-old felt he was only asking people to make the same efforts he had done himself.
"I was born and raised in a different country, my language was different, my religion was different.
"But when I came to England I obeyed the British way of life, I got into the British way of life.
"That is what I ask everyone else to do - respect the country where you are working and living." Mr Kumarasiri said his idea was popular in the local community.
" This has nothing to do with race and everything to do with basic communication. "
Mike Clarke, Bideford, Devon

Store owner takes on litterbugs

A village shopkeeper is marking wrappers and drinks bottles with the names of children who buy them in a bid to discourage them from littering.
Yvonne Froud, 52, took action after becoming fed up with the rubbish collecting in Joys Green in the Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire.
She said the village, particularly the children, had taken the campaign on board.
"It's made a great difference. The whole village is a lot cleaner."
"We had a good old clean up with the help of the council," she added.
Campaign working
The shopkeeper said the children understood the reason behind the clean up when it was explained to them.
She said: "It is just a question of taking responsibility. It is just a bit of education and it seems to be working. Nobody has really complained. If they do, we'll take it into account.
"On the whole the feedback has been good."
The clean-up campaign began four weeks ago when the children were encouraged, with the incentive of an Easter egg, to pick up sweet and crisp packets.
Mrs Froud said if named wrappers were found on the streets, she had a chat to the "offender" who was temporarily banned from the shop or asked to pick up some litter as a consequence.
She said the campaign would continue "because it is working".

Strange but true!

Mosquito repellents don't repel.
The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. I keep my toothbrush in the living room now.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

The wingspan of the B-36, a retired USAF bomber, was twice as long.

American Airlines saved $40, 000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first 'Marlboro Man.'
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.